The most widely cited figures come from psychobiologist William H. Frey II, whose research from the 1980s is quoted in the APA Monitor on Psychology (February 2014) and frequently referenced in academic literature on crying. Frey estimated that women cry an average of 5.3 times per month, while men cry approximately 1.3 times per month. These figures have been replicated in a number of diary studies, though with considerable variation between cohorts.

One notable study tracked 286 female and 45 male participants over a 30-day diary period, recording each crying episode. The results confirmed substantial gender differences in frequency, with women reporting roughly four times as many episodes as men. It is important to note, however, that no large-scale population-representative dataset exists for crying frequency in the way that nationally representative surveys exist for, say, alcohol consumption or sleep duration. The Frey figures and subsequent replication studies should be treated as indicative ranges rather than precise population-level statistics.

Given this limitation, this calculator uses broad categorical bands, lower than typical, typical range, and higher than typical, rather than claiming precise percentile rankings. Wide variation in crying frequency is normal and documented across all studies.

Do women really cry more than men?

Yes, and the difference is substantial. The Frey figures showing women cry approximately four times more often than men have been broadly replicated. In 2008, Rottenberg, Bylsma, and Vingerhoets published a comprehensive review in the Journal of Research in Personality that confirmed significant gender differences in both frequency and duration of crying episodes. Women reported more episodes, and episodes lasting longer than men’s.

The cross-cultural dimension is particularly revealing. Vingerhoets and colleagues conducted a study spanning 37 countries and found that the gender gap in crying frequency was not constant across cultures. Wealthier countries, more individualistic societies, and countries with higher levels of extraversion in the population all reported higher rates of crying for both sexes, but the gender gap itself also tended to be wider in such countries. This suggests that expressiveness norms, rather than fundamental physiological differences, drive much of the variation. People in cultures where emotional expression is more accepted simply report crying more.

The implication is that the lower average for men likely reflects suppression as much as genuine difference in emotional experience. Studies measuring mood during and after crying episodes show that men and women report similar emotional experiences; the behavioural output differs more than the internal state, a pattern echoed in the gendered differences in swearing frequency.

Does crying improve mood?

The popular belief that crying is always cathartic is not fully supported by the data. In the Rottenberg et al. (2008) study, only around 40% of crying episodes were followed by an immediate mood improvement. Approximately one third of episodes left mood unchanged, and a further third were associated with worse mood immediately after crying.

However, on a trait measure, asking people in general whether they feel better after crying, 85% of women and 73% of men report that they do. This discrepancy between episode-level outcomes and general belief likely reflects the fact that the mood benefit, where it occurs, is more salient and memorable than episodes where crying did not help.

Social context is a critical moderator. Crying in the presence of a supportive person, or receiving comfort after crying, is consistently associated with positive mood outcomes. Crying alone, or in the presence of an unsupportive or critical audience, is associated with neutral or negative outcomes. The cathartic effect of crying is therefore not intrinsic to the act but depends heavily on the interpersonal context in which it occurs.

Is it normal to never cry?

A Dutch household panel study published in 2017 (PubMed ID 28831948) examined the prevalence of never or rarely crying in a large representative household sample of approximately 2,000 households. The study confirmed that never crying is measurable within the general population and not rare. The authors emphasised that wide variation in crying frequency is well-documented and that frequency alone is not a clinically meaningful health indicator. Neither frequent crying nor rare crying is inherently a sign of psychological distress; context, subjective wellbeing, and whether the individual is concerned about their pattern are more relevant factors, much as the frequency of intrusive thoughts varies widely across the healthy population.

Age-related changes in crying frequency are documented but not dramatic. Some research suggests a gradual decline in crying frequency from young adulthood through middle age for women, with less consistent patterns for men. Hormonal factors, including postpartum and perimenopausal changes, can affect crying frequency in women significantly, sometimes dramatically, over particular life periods.

Frequently asked questions

Not in itself. Crying is a normal emotional response to a wide range of stimuli including sadness, frustration, relief, empathy, and even happiness. Frequency alone is not a diagnostic criterion for any mental health condition. However, a significant and unexplained change in crying frequency, particularly a sudden increase accompanied by persistent low mood, loss of interest, or other symptoms, can be worth discussing with a GP or mental health professional. Depression is associated with both increased crying in some individuals and an inability to cry in others.

Several factors are associated with individual differences in crying frequency. Personality traits, particularly emotional reactivity and empathy, are consistently associated with higher crying rates. Gender, cultural background, and social norms around emotional expression all play roles. Hormonal factors are significant for women, particularly the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and perimenopause. Situational factors, current stress levels, recent losses, life transitions, also affect frequency substantially. Finally, interpersonal differences in the threshold at which tears are triggered appear to be partly temperamental.

The evidence for age-related changes in crying frequency is mixed. Some studies suggest a modest decline in crying frequency as people move through middle age, for both men and women. Others find no consistent pattern. What appears more consistent is that older adults report a shift in the types of situations that prompt crying, with positive emotional events (such as reunions, births, or moving performances) becoming more prominent triggers relative to purely distress-based crying. Hormonal transitions, particularly perimenopause, can cause significant short-term increases in crying frequency for some women.

No. Rarely or never crying is a normal variant, not a pathology, and the ISAC international data (Vingerhoets, 2011, N=5,715) found roughly 6% of men and 2% of women reported zero crying episodes in the past month without any associated health concern. Some people simply have a higher physiological threshold for tear production, whether for temperamental (Big Five low neuroticism), cultural (Northern European and East Asian populations report lower rates than Mediterranean and Latin American populations), or neurological reasons. The popular claim that suppressing tears is inherently harmful is not well-supported by systematic evidence: the 2014 review in Frontiers in Psychology concluded that the cathartic-release hypothesis lacks strong empirical support, with crying showing mood-improvement effects in only roughly 30 to 40% of episodes. Gross's research on emotion regulation does suggest that chronic expressive suppression, across all forms not just crying, is associated with elevated cortisol and reduced wellbeing in long-term cohort studies. But rarely crying because you genuinely don't experience the impulse frequently is different from actively suppressing a strong impulse to cry, and the two should not be conflated.

The inability to cry despite feeling emotional distress is a recognised experience with several possible explanations. Physiologically, some individuals simply have a higher lacrimation threshold, meaning the emotional signal needs to be stronger to trigger tear production. Certain medications are associated with reduced crying, most notably antidepressants (particularly SSRIs), antipsychotics, and some blood pressure medications, which can blunt emotional reactivity as a side effect. Psychologically, prolonged emotional suppression or dissociation can reduce crying responsiveness. In some cases, difficulty crying is associated with alexithymia, a condition characterised by difficulty identifying and expressing emotions, or with depression, which paradoxically can reduce crying even as it increases distress. Rarely crying when emotionally moved is not the same as being unable to cry at all: both are normal variants unless they are causing significant distress.

The burning or stinging sensation during crying is caused by the composition of emotional tears rather than the act of crying itself. Tears produced during emotional distress have a different chemical composition from lubricating (basal) tears and reflex tears triggered by irritants. Emotional tears contain higher concentrations of proteins, including prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and leucine encephalin, as well as potassium and manganese. When these tears run into the eye rather than draining normally, or when tear volume exceeds the drainage capacity of the nasolacrimal duct, the higher solute concentration can mildly irritate the eye surface. The burning is more pronounced if you rub your eyes while crying, since rubbing disrupts the tear film and introduces friction. It is harmless and temporary.

Yes, but it can be uncomfortable. Contact lenses are designed to function in normal tear-film conditions, and the increased tear volume during crying can temporarily dislodge soft lenses or cause them to shift. The protein content of emotional tears, which differs from normal basal tears, can also deposit on lens surfaces more rapidly than usual, potentially causing temporary blurring or discomfort. Rubbing your eyes while wearing contacts significantly increases the risk of irritation or corneal scratching. Hard (rigid gas permeable) lenses are more prone to dislodgement during heavy crying than soft lenses. None of these risks are serious, but if crying with contacts causes persistent discomfort, removing the lenses, crying, and reinserting is the safer approach.

Crying that feels unexplained usually does have a cause, but one that is not immediately obvious. The most common explanation is cumulative stress. When emotional pressure builds over days or weeks without a clear single trigger, the nervous system can reach a threshold where tears are released by something minor or seemingly unrelated. This is sometimes called the "last straw" effect, where the crying response is proportional to accumulated tension rather than the immediate stimulus.

Hormonal fluctuations are another frequent cause. In women, shifts in oestrogen and progesterone during the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, postpartum period, or perimenopause can lower the crying threshold significantly. Thyroid dysfunction in both sexes can produce unexplained tearfulness. Certain medications, particularly SSRIs during the adjustment period, oral contraceptives, and corticosteroids, can also alter emotional reactivity.

Less commonly, a neurological condition called pseudobulbar affect (PBA) causes sudden, involuntary crying (or laughing) that is disconnected from emotional state. PBA is associated with conditions including multiple sclerosis, traumatic brain injury, and stroke, and is estimated to affect approximately 2 million Americans (Ahmed and Simmons, 2013).

If unexplained crying is persistent, increasing in frequency, or accompanied by low mood, fatigue, or loss of interest, it is worth speaking with a healthcare provider. For most people, however, occasional crying without an obvious trigger falls within the normal range of emotional experience. You can use the calculator above to see how your overall crying frequency compares to survey data.

Crying when angry is extremely common and is a physiological response, not a sign of weakness. When you experience intense anger, your sympathetic nervous system activates the fight-or-flight response. This floods the body with cortisol and adrenaline, raises heart rate, and tenses muscles. Once the acute stress peaks, the parasympathetic nervous system begins to counterbalance, and one of its recovery mechanisms is lacrimation: the production of tears.

In other words, angry tears are part of the body returning to baseline after an intense autonomic surge. Research by Bylsma, Vingerhoets, and Rottenberg (2008) found that frustration and anger rank among the top five triggers for crying episodes across cultures, alongside sadness, empathy, physical pain, and joy. The tears are not replacing the anger; they are a parallel physiological output of high emotional arousal.

Gender socialisation plays a role in perception. Men are more likely to express anger through raised voices or physical tension, while women are socialised to suppress overt anger, which may channel the arousal response toward tears instead. The underlying physiology is the same in both sexes.

If crying during conflict makes communication difficult, techniques like pausing the conversation, slow breathing, or naming the emotion out loud ("I am angry, not sad") can help modulate the response. See how your overall crying frequency compares using the crying frequency calculator.

Yes. Crying after sex is common enough that researchers have a clinical term for it: postcoital dysphoria (PCD), sometimes called "postcoital tristesse." A 2015 study by Schweitzer, O'Brien, and Burri published in Sexual Medicine found that 46% of women surveyed had experienced PCD at least once in their lifetime. A separate 2019 study by Bird, Schweitzer, and Strassberg found that 41% of men reported experiencing it at least once. Despite these high prevalence figures, only a small minority experience it regularly: approximately 2 to 4% of women reported frequent episodes.

PCD can involve tearfulness, sadness, irritability, or a sense of emotional flatness following otherwise consensual and enjoyable sex. The causes are not fully understood, but researchers propose several contributing factors. The rapid hormonal shift after orgasm, particularly the drop in oxytocin and endorphins, may create a transient emotional vulnerability. Psychological factors including attachment style, past trauma, and relationship satisfaction are also associated with PCD frequency, though the 2015 study notably found that PCD occurred even in participants who reported high relationship satisfaction and no history of abuse.

The key point is that occasional post-sex tearfulness is a normal physiological variant, not a relationship red flag or a sign of psychological damage. If it happens frequently and causes distress, speaking with a therapist who specialises in sexual health is a reasonable step. You can explore how your experience compares to population data on the crying frequency calculator and related tools like the sex frequency calculator.

Data sources

Frey WH et al. (1983). Quoted in: APA Monitor on Psychology, February 2014
Rottenberg J, Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM. (2008). Journal of Research in Personality
Vingerhoets AJJM et al. Cross-cultural crying study (37 countries). TNO repository
PubMed ID 28831948. (2017). Prevalence of never crying, Dutch household panel survey
Schweitzer RD, O'Brien J, Burri A. (2015). Postcoital Dysphoria. Sexual Medicine, 3(4), 235–243.
Bird B, Schweitzer RD, Strassberg D. (2019). Postcoital Dysphoria in Men. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 45(8), 720–729.
Ahmed A, Simmons Z. (2013). Pseudobulbar affect. Therapeutics and Clinical Risk Management, 9, 483–489.
Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM, Rottenberg J. (2008). When is crying cathartic? Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 27(10), 1165–1187.